L

I was nudged (on LJ, though I am also updating my IJ at the same time; yay technology), so I'm updating.

There really isn't much to say. This past year has been really hard for me. I've barely left the house. I guess my parents splitting up has been harder on me than I thought. At first I was glad my mom moved out, but now...I realize I've almost locked myself in the house since she left. I don't know what's up with that. I try to go out sometimes...but then I don't. Just for groceries.

Thank you to those of you who've been praying for me. I know there's at least one. How you knew what to pray for I can only explain by supernatural means.

Mainly I've been roleplaying. I learn a lot from my characters, especially Kira Ford, but I can't seem to apply any of it. I can only ask for more prayer.

I'm lost. I want to be found again.

Edit: Oh, and I'm voting for Tommy Oliver this year. Yes you read that right.

I just finished writing the first of a series of Smallville character reflections. The first is 669 words of Clarky goodness. Well, mostly goodness. I'm trying to work on my word count. In reflection, I wonder if Brother #2 is right: maybe I am like Chloe. Maybe I should go back to school and study journalism. I'm not sure. Right now, I want to do this bath and body thing I've been thinking about. It'd be nice to be my own boss and use my creativity in that way. But hey, who says I can't do both?

I never got to go to Olive Garden with my sister. After all that happened, she spent the day at Mom's and lost track of time. I guess it's not so bad. I'll see her again, even if it'll be almost a year until then. Unless she somehow gets some leave in February. Good luck to her on that one.

I'm doing a lot better now, physically and emotionally. I still haven't decided what I should spend my Christmas money on, or what I'm getting with my gift card. Really, one of the things that upset me was the fact that sensitive!bro got a guitar for Christmas. After all those years I asked for one and never got it, and the fact that there is far less money coming in now than there ever was, it felt like a punch in the gut. Not because of the money, but because it felt like my mother had never cared enough to get me one. The bad thing is, after my aunt became the straw that broke this camel's back, I started to cry and sensitive!bro tried to gift me his guitar. I told him no, of course, but it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done.

Well, there were flight problems, and my sister is still here. It's so wonderful I can hardly believe it. We'll be able to go to Olive Garden tonight like we were planning but never got around to. Plus, I'm sure today will be better than yesterday, so she'll be able to leave here on a good note. At least I hope. I heard there were issues with my mother at the airport. She can be so reasonable when she tries...it happened yesterday when I was on the phone with her. So why can't she be that way all the time?

Dear Santa,

I don't really believe in you, or much like where you came from. I'm just using you for dramatic emphasis. Maybe I should write to Jesus instead.

Dear Jesus,

I know you weren't really born this time of year, but you might have been conceived then. It doesn't really matter too much in this case. But all I really want right now is all the fighting to stop, at least until the beginning of the year, or my sister leaves. It's just ruining this whole time we're supposed to be spending together. Thanks for listening, even if you decide not to help.

<3,
L

Well, my sister is home on leave, which should make me really happy. I mean it did, when she first got here. But that was before all the crap started.

( cut for those who'd rather not hear about the family drama )

Well, that's all for right now. I just needed to get it all out. I hope this blows over soon. I'd like to be able to enjoy the time my only sister is home.

Oh my, I'm updating again? Must be some sort of freak accident or something. Just LJ, though (but I have now transfered it to IJ). InsaneJournal is on the upgrade, so they're down at the moment. As soon as I can, I'm getting a permanent account over there. Don't worry, I'll still update here. I mean, LJ has certainly gone downhill since I joined my first journal in 2001, but it's still an okay place.

Anyway, with my new faster internet access, I've been on youtube, watching videos of Chlark, or for those of you who have no idea what that is, the pairing of Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan from Smallville. Brother #2 and I got into an argument over Smallville pairings, which is odd but nice. He insists Clark doesn't feel that way about Chloe, and he and Lana Lang belong together. Of course, I'm sitting there asking him if he even saw the season five finale or the season six premier. I mean, sure he's with Lana now, but honestly, unless Clark just doesn't want to admit it to himself, she's gone villainess. If anything, it's time for their relationship to be over. Of course, then Brother #2 says if he's not with Lana, he should go ahead and move to Lois. I know how iconic the Lois and Clark relationship is, but the Smallville Lois and Clark don't even get along. I couldn't imagine them getting together, even after Crimson. The way the writing's going, I think Clark is going to be solo at the end of it all...but that doesn't keep me from disagreeing with Brother #2. He says I just like them together because Chloe and I are alike...which is weird, because I never really thought about that. I have no idea how I could be like her...maybe my love for writing? I don't know, very short stories and poetry seem a long way from being a reporter at the Daily Planet, even in the basement.

That's all I can think to write at the moment. Type at ya later!