Updating, because I should start doing more of that. Consider it a baby step to getting on with my life.

It's hard to read Scripture. It's hard to pray. But right now, that's where I'm pushing the hardest. I'll be honest, it's not ever day, and it's not very much when it's there, but it's something. I'm sure it'll start getting easier. It will, won't it?

I want to get out of this hole. I want to live a normal life like everyone else. First things first, though. I know the time I was the happiest was when I was deeply in love, not with a lifestyle or another human being but with my God. If I had my health, physically, emotionally and mentally, if I had a job I loved, if I had money to buy the things I wanted to buy and all the friends anyone could want, and I didn't have Him? It would all be so empty. In Him I live and move and have my being. This is what I've lost sight of and so lost myself.

I know what I have to do.